Hey people.. (:
you knw.. i've been thinking so much lately.. and i've realised something.. July wasn't a really really good month for me.. Honestly, i'd admit that there were more downs than ups in this month.. whenever i try to turn to somthing.. i'll lose it.. awkward and maybe it don't really make sense.. but yeah, i'm living in the world of impossible, awkward and "oh, that's complicated and don't make sense at all " . Honestly.. i'm living it now.. and honestly.. i really didn't knew how i reacted or overcame all this in this last few days or in this month.. and now, i'm left with a few more days before august comes. It hurts big time to just take a stroll down memory lane right now cause it just won't do me any good.. i don't know.. here's a brief pic.. when i felt as if love has just walked out on me and never coming back.. i turned to the next purest thing in my life, soccer.. and suprisingly within 2 days, i got injured.. 2 weeks out, meniscus knee injury.. what can i say.. i can't kick a ball, dribble, or even run... and recently, i've been putting up a fake smile lately just to show everyone that i'm alright.. but if you look closer.. then yes, you'll see. It's not easy waking up everyday knowing that things has change and your gone.. Probably, gone to better things and a better life.. i don't know.. but have you ever wondered how i felt? have you? i've been feeling so weak at the start and right now, i should feel stronger instead there's still this sore feeling i get every now and then.. people say move on, but my heart just craves even more.. why? i don't know? did i try? try to move on? yes, of course.. but i've also learnt another thing, nothing is stronger than our hearts.. nothing can win it, not even our mental nor physical strength can even come near it. Because, it has that ability to just gives you that feeling that makes you even weaker than you were yesterday.. Yeah, i know.. i may sound weak but honestly, not as weak as before.. and why's that? because it took me one month just to understand every single thing that seem so unreasonable yet so true.. And also, it took me one month just to get this heart of mine to get use to things without you.. however, it just always seem to crave for you even more after looking into your eyes. It's as if you spoke right through me and i dont knw how your able to do that. You can deny my feelings that i have... and yeah, i've ever denied this feelings that i'm having too.. but how can i after feeling like this over and over again.. i can't deny this heart of mine, and yeah.. she craves for you every now and then.. but , i can't give her what she wants or needs and that's you.. So how do you expect me to run or quit? all i can do is hide.. because, quiting or running would just be a love suicide.

my apology for this post and being not active in posting. Sorry..
but guys, do bear with me. soon, hopefully...