Cause when your gone, its like God put out the sun.

Hey people. (:
wow, it has really been awhile! Been really busy with school, well, N level's like in 1 week time.. So yeah, all these busy-ness are expected. haha. Oh, and malay oral is nx monday and i really, really hope it'll turn out fine.. i gotta do some memorising.. and maybe a little prayer every now and then! hahaha. I feel kinda guilty actually, i've asked for off with the NFA but.. i've been kinda slacking at home. And that i gotta cut out. So.. i'm gonna do some history and physics today. I better get the hang of the first few chapts of physics before moving on.. And for history.. gonna revis on Nazism by mindmapping and reading! Ohh my, i've a plan! for once. yeah, blogging do helps every now and then. haha. okaay. i better go.. Oh rach, she's becoming slower than me.. Now, she's the slowcoach. (: And no, "john was home before me" excuses rach! FYI, you went home first! hahahaha. My, my.. waiting to see how she'd react to this. And of course, her amusing excuses to counter the label, "SLOWCOAAAAACH." hahahah. waiting rach, i'm waiting. haha.


HELLLLLO!
Oh man! this morning street soccer was awesome. It's been ages since i've played in a heavy rain with a free mind! The last time was obviously with nfa but you knw.. stress, tensions.. i was damn serious.. but not today! had fun with the guys.. it was reeeeeally cool. What a nice way to relieve stress after a week of hell. I like. (: ohh, andd it's shane cousin birthday. That fellow should have allow me to tag along.. But no.... bloodymonkey. Nvm, nvm. spoil such a chance FOR ME. to meet .. sigh. shane .. shane.. a brother who bastards me. cool huh? okay. joking. haha. he's a big timer now. i shall not play around with him. [: ''sorry boss'' *
OKAY.
i've done my maths paper 2. So bedok North's done. Tmr, paper 1 maths.. and i haven't studies Physics or chem! and that's my task. JOHHHHHN. OKOKOKAY! gonna do that real soon. Gonna read up a little physics. At least 3 units! andd, i would read my history before sleeping.. there you go, working around the clock! (: So what am i doing right now? i'm chatting with rach online.. she thinks she has just offended me. sigh.. yeah, she did.. but it's okay..
OKAY,
i should go
bye.
I'M JUST KIDDING RACH! ((: AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHAAHA:D


Hey there.
well, this week was a real rollercoaster for me.. You knw, if i were to think back, i've went to through so much in 2009. Some ups, some downs. But, more of downs, i suppose.. And i really can't rate life right now cause doing that would be really discouraging. I started the year with fear.. Not with academics but instead with something that made me feel totally different from any other ordinary person. Trainnings has been really tough recently and still i keep on pushing to my limits, trying to be my best. Why is that? because, every second that passes me seem so precious nowadays during trainning or when i'm having a match. It feels like it'd be my last. I remembered being told i'll have to give this passion of mine up someday. But i didn't expect it to be soon. And i hope not. Sometimes i wonder, what god have in plan for me. This passion of mine is the only thing that makes me feel like myself. In fact, i think it has MADE me. I had an injury. Been out for 3 months and still i'm expected to sit out. But what makes you think i'm willing to do that? Afterall, time waits for no one.. I might not be myself lately. Probably because i'm being put into a really difficult situation. There's maybe tooo much on my mind.. idk. And at a time like this, when you really need a person to talk too. You can't. why? well, there's ppl around but, i can't put myself into those situations and talk about it. Maybe, i'm better of just dealing with such things alone. See that smile on my face? trust me, it's fake. Cause i'm really afraid to see the results in black and white and to eventually accept who i really am in 1 week time. I've done my best for 8 years. They say it takes 6 years to develope an amateur footballer. I've passed that stage. And supposely, my big breakthrough's next year. And watching it all, possibly going down the drain and not being able to do anything about it but watch. Hurts.

you could accept me for who i am or
you could push me away..
But just don't pull me close just to have that
chance to push me away sooner or later.


Hello!! ohhh. school re-opens tmr..
there'll be the noisy bunch of girls.
the class matreps. hahaha and i'll be most of the time with them! hahah.
There'll be so many ppl i wanna see! ESPECIALLY A FEW! ((:
So it'll be the last term for the year. And my term would only last for a month.. well, i hope i'll be able to focus in class and stuff. it's the last hurdle for 2009. C'mon johnnn! And trainning tmr at sports sch. hopefully i'll be fitter now. trainning was damn tough on friday. Gosh! Also, tmr.. will be the start of my intensive study.. i gotta mug extra hard in order to end up in sec 5 nx year. But whatever the results, i too wanna spend quality time with my classmates.. cause, if they woudn't be back nx year.. i'd really miss them. So yeah. I'm taking the effort to get closer to ppl. (: And i've no homework.. so i'm here enjoying my final hours before sleeping and waking up to the start of my term 4. where they'll be more studies for me.. lesser computer. lesser tv. hmm, you get the picture.. so yes. Enjoy this final moments john. anyway i've no homeworrk! but rach does.. awww. and their last minute work. Brilliant eh? she's really brilliant. hahaha. ohh okay! i should shut up!

Yesterday
Played soccer at BT plaza with shan and moses. morelike trainning for shane actually. And that fellow is freaking unfit. Just a little bit. AHHHH CRAMP JOHN CRAMP. Then give him chance and focus on core muscles he started crying and screaming.. bloody hell. and he did so little work. Yet he actually lost a few kg. cool huh? see, trainning under me's effective. (: But overall, the fellow's inproving as a keeper ahh.. i'm impress.. but still.. he's a freaking joker.. *AHHH CRAMP JOHN CRAMP.
hahahahaha yeap, that's it!


Jerome's over at my place right now. The dude's gonna sleep over at my place.. John mari popped by for awhile. He has his reasons. hahaha. Ohhh, soccer was alright. But still! i could've done better.. Well.. My evening was good. (: It was fun. Why? when you have the company of two brothers! Then you'll have fun. hahaha. Oh this morning . met shane. To study of course.. KAP! maybe tomorrow again. well, it's getting late.. so i'm gonna turn in for the night.[:
GOODNIGHT!

46 days to rachaels b'day! [:
hahah. i'm taking effort to rmb.
really sorry i didn't noticed.
really. [:


If i'd do something really sweet, how would you react?
would you smile?
or
would you turn around just to run away
without turning back?
i wonder..
And so, tell me, which's easier to do?
cause i'm hoping i'd see you smile. [:



I guess.. everything they said about you was after all true..
Your temporary just like everyone else.
So does this prove we're all humans?
I don't know.
And it's not because i'm uncertain or unsure.
But, i just have friends who'll stand by you even at your weakest point.
For a few months i've been trying to crawl out of this really deep hole.
And if you were to ask me. I coudn't have done it alone.
I've gave up. Cried. Teared. Got angry. And even honestly pushed myself
so far hoping i won't get myself back.
But certain ppl just woudn't let me..
why? well. Maybe these people, spells friend.
I've met new friends and i've gotten closer to some. (:
I've lost a few. But gained some too.
So tell me. Did i lose out?
Maybe..
i could say i regret.
i could say i was stupid.
i could say i wasn't appreciative of what i have.
I'll be honest with you. I do measure a friend.
I accept those who were willing to stand by me.
And, i push away those who won't.
Because in this world..
Nothing's permanent. So i might as well keep the best and
hold on to them before they're gone.

I give you all that i am.



[:


Hey.
OHHHHH. N LEVEL STARTS TMR FOR ME!
goodluck to me.. hopefully everything i've studied comes out.. No stress john. I'm confident. Just gotta revise a little more. I gotta turn in early. So goodngiht ppl.


heyyheyyheyy! (i knew what rachael copied from me! )
hahah. I've been mugging SS for the whole day! i didn't even studied for english.. But i'm gonna revise some english stuff tmr.. i'm leaving 2 hrs aside for english.. whole morning's gonna be for ss. Afternoon maybe i'll do some english.. and at night i'll hit on my ss again.. N level's on tuesday and wednesday so i gotta give it my best. I'm finally down to my last lap for english and maths.. wow. well. to those having mt tmr. goodluck guys. and all the best! your in my prayers! (: i'm gonna go to sch tmr to wish them good luck. YEAH RIGHT hahaha. nope, i'm just gonna collect some notes to photocopy before heading to kap. looks like tmr is gonna be loads of mugging. i need my brain to be prepared. so a goodnight sleep is advice. (: i'm turning in for the night people. I hope you enjoyed your day! (: goodnight!


hello. (:
haha okay. i know it has been awhile.. and i apologise for not updating. It's been a really busy week for me.
so what has been up this week for me?
trainnings.
school.
i've mugging for ss.
andddd.
more mugging. (:

I had a match recently against under15 Singapore. They're our juniors and damn! they gave us a hell of a fight. I came in as a substitute after 3 months! played RB. and had a cut on my upper left eye brow after being kicked while challenging for a high ball. Yes, i was bleeding for awhile.. But thank god it wasn;t that severe.. ermm. And honestly, i wasn't happy with my performance but i'm happy with my 2nd half display. (: it was alright. So overall.. i believe i had an average but a decent game. My knee seems to be recovring bt the sharp pain has been coming once in a while.. 1 more month i guess to a 100% recovery? Oh and SS N LEVEL'S NX WEEK TUESDAY. Time flies by too fast. The nx time i'd sit for a paper.. it'll be for real! N levels. gosh. okayokay. good luck to me. (:

well.. ermm. Other than all that. I've been studying with shane and jerome at KAP. It's kinda fun because they'll go wickedly insane for ahwile.. and i know why. But you guys don't (: yes shane? am i right? tolong and angkat jerome all ah. take number all eyhh. ((: hahahaha. I SWWEAR DAMN HILARIOUS THOSE TWO BASTARDS. Even today! Jerome enjoys looking at longkangs. Sad fellow... And me.. i was nicely TRYING to study with two source of distraction. But they're my bros hey? (: hahahah

well.. I'm gonna go to church tomorrow. and do some revision for SS. Pray hard john. pray hard..
hahah. Rachael was real cute. She told me that she fell asleep yesterday while msging me halfway. and cause of that.. she didnt charge her phone, cause she fell asleep with her phone in her hand. hahahaha awwwww. So tell me. How many ppl would do such cute and sweet things? and actually admit?! hahaha I'm giving you props rach.. ((: hahah okay enough.. i bet she really wants to kill me aft seeing these.

well. mates. till nx time. :D


Hey there..
soccer trainning with nfa has resume. And i've came back from my injury.. it has been 2 and a half months of rehabs and conditioning and finally, i've came back to regular trainning.. And wow. it was freaking tiring.. I don't think i did perform. But hey, there was this bright side that top the day off. i scored the winning goal for my team.. so, i guess.. i shoudn't be too hard on myself. Yes i'm tired and feel as if all my conditioning and running was useless! i guess trainning intensity's different.. But what if i didn't ran? or condition myself? wow. i think i'd die out there today. hahah. well, yes.. that was the beginning of my september.. Oh and i've a really good feeling i might start nx coe league game. and i must. i'm gonna work towards that goal. The last few months has really been heavy on me. right now, i wanna put all that aside and try to start afresh.. honestly, i feel real sorry for myself on feeling like this.. I don't think carrying all this burden would be worth it. So, i'm throwing it all away. There are goals i wanna achieve for now. And i'll focus on that. (: